9 Ways to Build your Self Confidence

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9 Ways to Build your Self Confidence

Confidence is something we can all have a challenge with at times.  Here are some tips to help you build your self-confidence.

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others 

One of the most effective self-confidence building techniques that will immediately improve your confidence is to stop comparing yourself to others. This is trouble and in reality, you only see a small slice of how that person really is. Everyone, thinks, feels, learns and sees things differently. You are the only person on this planet with your ability and the possibilities in you and the way you do things will be endless and different to everybody else, no two fingerprints are the same. Remember that!

When you compare yourself to other people you tend to compare yourself to the one person who you believe has it best in life. This is definitely not a good way to assess yourself. Instead worry about what it takes to be someone that you like yourself. It is amazing how much happier people who like themselves are than people who do not.

2. Always Make Eye Contact

Most people are incredibly afraid of how other people will judge them. By making eye contact you tell yourself that you are worthy, unafraid, and confident. You also send the same message to the other person/people that you are talking to.

A little trick I find that works is to look between other people’s eyebrows in the centre of their head, this is less intimidating for you as you are not looking directly into their eyes but from where they are standing it looks like you actually are. Just make sure you are not staring too hard and are not too up close and personal as this may intimidate the person you are conversing with.

At first many people have to force themselves to make eye contact for quite some time before it becomes a habit. However, you will find that once you get into a habit of making good eye contact you will naturally feel more confident in all situations and scenarios.

3. Exercise & Healthy Eating

Appearance is the number one cause for low self-esteem around the world. Improving your physical appearance can do wonders for your confidence. Exercising often is the best way to make yourself both feel better and look better.

Exercise of any kind will release endorphins which are chemicals released by the brain during exercise that enhances that feel good mood and sends a pleasurable feeling through your body. Exercising on a regular basis will improve anyone’s physical appearance and subsequently their self-confidence. You feel good, you smile more. You smile more, you feel more confident.

Do know, that 70% of weight loss starts with what and how much you are eating, so find a diet that works for you and implement an exercise routine that you are happy with. Just make sure it is a routine you enjoy otherwise your fitness regime will be short lived and you will see little to no improvement.

4. Dress Sharp

Have you ever heard the saying “when you look good, you feel good”? There is a lot of truth to that old saying. When you dress sharp it has a positive physiological effect resulting in improved interactions with other people. You will also feel changes in the way that you carry yourself, which enhances your level of comfort in everyday situations.

Dressing sharp is an easy and immediate way to increase your confidence. This has been studied and proven to be very effective in immediately increasing confidence levels.

5. Compliment Others Often

Get in the mindset of thinking positive. This will allow you to see the good in people and compliment them on their strong points. So how is this going to help boost your self-esteem? Well, when you compliment others you will see the happiness in them which will then make you happy, and also you are ten times more likely to get a sincere compliment in return if you give someone a compliment (not that that is the sole reason you are doing it). A compliment reinforces people’s awareness of their strong points and builds confidence.

6. Help Those Less Fortunate

Research shows that helping those less fortunate is one of the most empowering feelings in the world. Those who do community service often have incredibly high self-esteem, self-confidence, and a much more positive outlook on life.

The empowering feeling of helping others builds self confidence in yourself and helps you to realise that you are able to make an impact in this world.

Tony Robbins said it best – “The secret of living is giving.”

7. Face Your Fears and Don’t Fear Failure

Fear is a huge reason for low levels of confidence in millions of people. Our fears have incredible control over us and affect the way we feel about ourselves. When we fear something we feel weak which is the same as not feeling confident. In order to overcome this, you have to face your fears in life. Do not avoid the things that you are incredibly afraid of – spend some time facing your fears (rather than running from them) so you are able to understand why you have these fears and then make plans to overcome them.

Learn to never fear failure. Everyone in life fails numerous times. A couple of failures will not define your life. The way you respond to these failures is what defines you. Use the Action Learning Cycle to help you reflect and learn on what you are doing so you can make plans to repeat what is working or fix what hasn’t worked.

8. Carry ‘Confidence’ With You

Carry it with you, just not on your shoulders. Now what I mean by this is you should not look like you are trying to be confident and stressing about how you come across.

There are a number of ways that you can exude confidence physically and here are a few:

  • Speak clearly and with a reasonable volume
  • Be conscious of your posture
  • Avoid crossing your arms as this can be seen as being defensive
  • Use your hands to explain things, this helps to create a more vivid picture of your explanations

9. Fake It, Til You Make It

We have all heard this term used before, but it is very applicable when it comes to self-confidence.

If you find yourself in a situation where you feel vulnerable and not very confident, this is the time to switch on your ‘fake it to make it’ mindset. Use the characteristics of confident people and apply them to your immediate situation. Look for a role model – someone you look at as a confident and charismatic person, whether it be a character, a friend, a colleague or someone that you have felt comfortable around before.

These will become habits of your own within time and will definitely pay off.

So good luck with becoming more confident and just wait and see how it will help you to create greater happiness and achieve what you were destined to achieve!


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